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Oh Dog, Poor Dog
Directed by: David Steinberg
Written by: Cathryn Michon
Airdate: January 22, 1993
As Bernice is preparing for eye surgery, Carlene arrives at work with a London phone number that plays a tape of Princess Di's private conversations with her boyfriend. While her friends debate the finer points of the royal marriage, Julia insists it is all a waste of time, not to mention an invasion of privacy, and demands that Sugarbaker's phone not be used to make any further calls. Meanwhile, Bernice gives Anthony a living will which stipulates that she be allowed to die if anything goes wrong.
Having just come from the vet's office, Mary Jo arrives at work in tears saying that she may have to put her old dog Brownie to sleep. However, when Bernice overhears Mary Jo and Julia talking about killing Brownie, she thinks they are discussing her and takes refuge in the storeroom. Though Julia tries to assure Bernice that they were only talking about a dog, after Bernice refuses an offer to listen in on the royal love line, Anthony is told to break down the door.
When Anthony complies and ends up hurting himself trying to break down the door, Bernice abandons her storeroom fortress to come to his defense. Mary Jo struggles to do what is best for Brownie and finally decides not to prolong his suffering. After mourning for three days, Mary Jo comes to grips with her loss for a while, after sending everyone on their way, Julia is caught on the phone to London listening to the Princess Diana tapes.
-- Columbia Tri-Star Marketing
Classic Scenes:
BERNICE: I feel so sorry for that Princess Diana.
B.J.: Boy, I don't. The way I figure it, if you're going to marry a man who looks like a horse, you gotta expect some manure.
JULIA: B.J.! That's a terrible thing to say.
B.J.: I'll tell you what, I bet the only thing the Queen carries in that jumbo size pocket book of hers is sugar cubes and carrots to keep her kids happy.
CARLENE: Well my heart really bleeds for Princess Diana. The saddest part is that she married Charles because she really loved him, but he only married her because she was the last virgin left in England.
JULIA: I've heard enough about Diana! Yes, she's the future queen of England, and yes she may have a bad marriage and be little more than a royal brood mare, but the fact of the matter is, the woman is entitled to some privacy. Carlene, if you call that number (the Princess Di sex tapes), all you'll be doing is perpetuating this repulsive media circus.
CARLENE: So, you're saying you don't want to listen?
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