Episode Cast:

Suzanne Sugarbaker
Delta Burke

Julia Sugarbaker
Dixie Carter

Mary Jo Shively
Annie Potts

Charlene Stillfield
Jean Smart

Anthony Bouvier
Meshach Taylor

Reese Watson
Hal Holbrook

J.D. Shackleford
Richard Gilliland

Bill Stillfield
Douglas Barr

Junior Jones
M.C. Gainey

Nub Jones
S.A. Griffin

Daddy Jones
Dub Taylor

Rupert Jones
Michael Morrison

Deputy Sheriff
Casey Sander

Nightmare From Hee Haw

Directed by: David Trainer
Written by: Linda Bloodworth-Thomason
Taped: September 12, 1989
Airdate: October 16, 1989

The ladies are going away for their annual trip with their men and Julia makes it clear that if they get into their annual fight, she's never going again. That night in the cabin, Julia has to admit it's been a wonderful day canoeing down the river. Since they're all tired from paddling, they decide to venture into the small town for dinner.

After a meal of squirrel, rabbit and frogs legs, Bill and the guys suggest they pay the bill and quickly leave the backwoods diner. The ladies, however, are having a great time talking like backwoods women and making jokes. The laughter quickly stops when a local guy named Daddy Jones and his three sons come over and insist the ladies dance with them. When Reese objects, Daddy Jones lifts him by the collar and suggests they let them dance with their ladyfriends or they might just go stark raving crazy.

After five dances with the hillbillies, they guys decide enough is enough. Daddy Jones has to agree with them. He'd much rather fight than dance. After the brawl, the Deputy Sheriff visits the hospital and informs the guys that the Jones family is crazy and recommends they don't press charges. Reese calls Anthony, explains the situation to him and asks him to come take care of the ladies while they're in the hospital. Meanwhile, back at the cabin, Daddy Jones and his sons have come to ask the ladies to join them on a picnic. Anthony shows up just in time and pretends to be an F.B.I. agent. When the hillbillies call his bluff, Anthony introduces them to his two ex-con friends "Hell-hole" Gibbs and "Spithead" Graves. As Reese and the guys are being released from the hospital, Daddy Jones and his boys are being admitted.

-- Columbia Tri-Star Marketing

Additional Comments:

M.C. Gainey, who plays Junior Jones in this episode, appears in two other episodes as Anthony's infamous prison cellmate, T. Tommy Reed. The writers do a great job of tying it together though in Last Tango in Atlanta, with Mary Jo mentioning the resemblence between T. Tommy and her hillbilly dance partner.

Classic Scenes:

CHARLENE: Those trees were gorgeous. It reminded me of the Ozarks and home. For some reason the baby was just kicking like crazy.
SUZANNE: Well of course. What'd you expect? It's a little hick.

Everyone is on a camping trip and eating in a hillbilly joint.
SUZANNE: Well, Julia? How're you enjoying the culture so far?
JULIA: Suzanne, it just so happens I'm enjoying it fine. It's different, it's interesting. Does anybody notice we're the only people in here having dinner?
MARY JO: No, I did notice we're the only people in here who know who Leonard Bernstein is. Not that that's particularly a plus.
JD: Mary Jo, will you please keep it down.
MARY JO: Why, what's wrong?
JD: What's wrong? Well, uh, if it's all right with you, I'd just as soon not offend anybody over there.
MARY JO: Over where?
JULIA: I think he's referring to the Charles Darwin Hall of Fame.
SUZANNE: Charles Darwin.............used to be our yard man.
REESE: You all, Let's not be so loud.
MARY JO: Oh, for Pete's sake. They're just a bunch of big ol' good hearted country boys. Anyway, I don't think they're exactly gonna get the Charles Darwin joke.
SUZANNE: Well I don't even know why you all are makin' fun of him anyway. I mean, he was an excellent yard man. He used to rinse out all my nylon stockings for a nickel.

MARY JO: I tell you something, I think after dinner we girls oughta get ourselves some big ol' toothpicks and just sit back and pick our teeth. What do you men folk think of that? Huh?
JD: Mary Jo, I'm telling you. You are talking too loud and it's not funny. Now no more beer for you.
MARY JO: You better watch your step boy. Don't you be back-talking me in front of my friends. I hate it when my man sasses me, don't you?

SUZANNE: Oh my gosh. I don't believe it.
JULIA: What?
SUZANNE: See that man over there with the hunting cap? You know, with the ear flaps?
MARY JO: What'd he do to you? Blow you a hayseed?
JD: Mary Jo!
MARY JO: That's just his way of sayin' hi-dee!
SUZANNE: I don't like the way he's lookin' at me with his eyes.
CHARLENE: How's he looking?
SUZANNE: You know.........Like he's lickin' the back of my neck.
BILL: I say we pay the bill, leave an incredibly large tip, and get the hell out of here.
MARY JO: Oh don't be ridiculous. She thinks everybody is trying to lick the back of her neck.

A hillbilly family adamantly asks the ladies to dance.
SUZANNE: Excuse me, I may as well tell you that like Charlene here, I'm a little under the weather myself. You know, PMS.
SUZANNE: Female trouble!
DADDY JONES: Oh, well then maybe you better have a consultation with Nub.
SUZANNE: On second thought, let's boogie.

JULIA: All right. That's it. Now you listen to me, and you listen good. We have had just about as much of you people as we gonna take. I don't know what glacier you stepped out of, but my advice to you is to take yourself and your three slack-jawed sons down to the nearest mental health clinic.


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