Mary Jo is mugged on her way to pick up concert tickets. Mary Jo is especially upset because she froze during the attack and now knows that she cannot defend herself. Her fear increases and she refuses to go anywhere unless it is absolutely safe. She wants Suzanne to take her place on a trip to New Orleans for business. Anthony suggestss that all the women join a self-defense class. They agree and attend their first meeting.
Julia shows immediate talent in defending herself, but Suzanne isn't happy about the grubby aspects of self-defense and Charlene is afraid of hurting someone. Worst of all is Mary Jo. No matter how hard she tries, she freezes during the practice muggings. One night Mary Jo is alone in the parking garage elevator. A grubby man approaches her. Suddenly Mary Jo remembers all the anti-mugging techniques and the man quickly backs away.
Mary Jo proudly tells the others about her success. Everyone is ecstatic until they realize that her "mugger" is actually a client, Mr. LeBoof. However, Mr. LeBoof is not angry. In fact, he apologizes for approaching Mary Jo in the garage, saying he understands how threatening that can seem. In a special ceremony, all the women pass their self-defense course.
Additional Comments:
The working title for this episode was Mugging School.
Classic Scenes:
ANTHONY: What would you do if somebody was coming after you?
CHARLENE: Scream for help.
ANTHONY: Uh, uh. You can't depend on anybody helping you.
CHARLENE: Then I'd run away.
ANTHONY: You can't always get away.
CHARLENE: Well, then, I'd kill them with a rolled up magazine. I saw this thing on TV where spies learn how to kill somebody with a rolled up magazine.
Suzanne wants to practice her self-defense course lessons:
CHARLENE: Suzanne, why are you so interested in this course now? I mean, you didn't even want to go the first time. Now every time I see you it's, "Charlene threaten me, Charlene come at me with a knife, Charlene mug me at the Ready Teller."
SUZANNE: Okay, Julia, come on. Come at me with a knife. I dare you.
JULIA: Suzanne, I appreciate your enthusiasm for our anti-mugging course, and I must admit that occasionally this week I have enjoyed choking you, but this is a place of business.
JULIA: You know, I think that women are just about ready to say, if you come up to us with a gun or a knife, you better be prepared to use it right then and there, because we are not going anywhere with you. And we are not going to be dug up, raped and mutilated months later on some rural road. We are going to be prepared to stand and fight with dignity in the parking lots and the shopping centers and the driveways of America. But buddy, you better be prepared to do the same, because even at the very least, one of us is going to be walking funny.
MARY JO: You know what gets me even more is that twisted ankle business. That is so annoying.
SUZANNE: What twisted ankle business?
MARY JO: Oh, you know how they always show some young blonde thing in high heels with her bosom popping out of the dress, you know, running away from some monster or killer or something, and she's doing pretty good, she's making pretty good time until *snap* she twists that ankle. And then she just lies there til the monster polishes her off. I mean, I guess that's what you get for having big breasts and running around on three inch stilts.
SUZANNE: Well what do you want her to do, Mary Jo? Stand up and beat the tar out of Frankenstein?
MARY JO: I want a movie where a woman with a gun knows how to use it, and doesn't let some man wrench it out of her wimpy little wrist. I want a movie where the hero is Charlene, not Charles Bronson.
Mary Jo finds herself being followed through a parking garage.
MARY JO: NO!!! Back off, buddy. Lay a finger on me and I'll kick you so hard your whole family will feel it. 9 - 1 - 1 !!!
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