Episode Cast:

Suzanne Sugarbaker
Delta Burke

Julia Sugarbaker
Dixie Carter

Mary Jo Shively
Annie Potts

Charlene Frazier
Jean Smart

Anthony Bouvier
Meshach Taylor

Mel
Carmen Arganziano

Claude
Charles Pierce

Trevor
John Furey

Jhana
Randi Brooks

Howard
Marc Silver

Terry
Christine Jansen


Cruising

Directed by: Harry Thomason
Written by: Linda Bloodworth-Thomason
Taped: September 2, 1987
Airdate: November 16, 1987

When Julia and Mary Jo speak at Career Day for Anthony's old high school, they are seen by a travel agent who is very impressed by Julia. He books cruises for the company that wants their flagship redecorated. The only condition is that they would have to go on a cruise to Nassau in order to know the tastes and needs of the passengers. As usual, the cabin suite is not exactly up to Suzanne's standards. In fact, it is a dump. However, with the ten thousand dollar deposit Sugarbaker's has been given, the women decide they can put up with a little inconvenience.

At dinner the first night, Suzanne tells the girls that she is convinced that every man in the room wants her. Mary Jo is so tired of hearing this that she decides to make a little wager. She bets Suzanne that she can land a better looking guy by the last night of the cruise. In fact, she is willing to bet her opal ring against Suzanne's emerald bracelet. Unfortunately, things do not work out very well for Mary Jo. In no time at all, Suzanne has met Trevor, the best looking man onboard. When morning comes and Suzanne has yet to return to the cabin, everyone begins to worry. That is, everyone but Mary Jo. She's convinced that Suzanne is doing this to humiliate her.

When Suzanne finally shows up, she tells them that she is in love. It must be love, or why would she let him kiss her after finding out that he is broke. Later that day, Trevor finds Mary Jo in the bar and tells her he was really interested in her. He promises to make this one cruise she won't forget and then moves in for a kiss. Mary Jo tells him that she obviously cares more for Suzanne than he does and then storms off. When Suzanne learns what Mary Jo has done, she insists that Mary Jo take the emerald bracelet. It is obvious that their cruise wasn't the Love Boat, but it was the Friendship Boat for Suzanne and Mary Jo.

-- Columbia Tri-Star Marketing



Additional Comments:

While trying to win the bet, Mary Jo meets a dull man with a nose bleed named Howard. His attraction to Mary Jo is so strong that he tracks her down later this season in the episode Howard the Date.



Classic Scenes:

MARY JO: A couple of hoods got after Julia.
SUZANNE: Hoods love Julia. It's that little sashay in her walk.
CHARLENE: Well, what'd they say?
JULIA: Does it matter? They said the same asinine things they always say.
CHARLENE: I know, but just out of curiosity what was it?
JULIA: Charlene, we always go through this. Why do you have to know?
CHARLENE: I don't know. It's a sickness.
JULIA: All right, Charlene. If you must know, they said, "Hey Sweet Meat. What it is. Mmm - mmm, strut it out. Bring it on home to me now." Okay?


The firm gets a job redecorating a cruise ship.
SUZANNE: Well, you can count me out. I'm not going on any single's cruise. And I'm certainly not interested in putting up with a bunch of dorky men in bad toupees and polyester suits.

The ladies are forced to sleep in bunk beds in a tacky room after dealing with an assortment of oddball singles.
MARY JO: Why are you so quiet down there, Julia?
JULIA: I'm just trying to say my prayers.
CHARLENE: What were you praying for?
JULIA: If you must know, I was praying, Number One, that you all would let me go to sleep. Number Two, that I'm not seated next to Club Mel at breakfast. And Number Three, I was thanking God that I did not grow up with a mother who wore a leopard skin head band, white see through t-shirt and glued rhinestones to her fingernails.


JULIA: Mary Jo, what on Earth is the matter now?
MARY JO: It's this stupid dress of Suzanne's. This is so typical. It's just like her to hang this by my bed so it won't get wrinkled in the closet. As if I'm so little it won't bother me. She does this kind of thing to me all the time.
JULIA: Why don't you just take it down?
MARY JO: Actually, this fascinates me. These bra cups are huge. It's kinda like this is the corral where Suzanne keeps her bosom, and I'm the hired hand who guards 'em while she takes 'em out on a midnight ride.


Mary Jo and Suzanne compete for the best looking guy on board.
MARY JO: You're just gloating 'cause you know you're in pinky ring city.


SUZANNE: I've never known anyone like Trevor. I mean, do you all know anything about him?
JULIA: No. Only that his name is stupid.


Trevor makes a pass at Mary Jo while Suzanne is not around.
MARY JO: Excuse me, but I don't like to have the back of my neck kissed before breakfast. Especially by somebody who is too dumb to appreciate a woman like Suzanne Sugarbaker. Just who do you think that you're talking about? This is no two-bit singles' cruise barnacle. This is the Rolls Royce of females who happens to have more beauty titles than you have teeth. And let me tell you something else, I consider it an honor just to guard her brassiere and I am not even a man.


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