Charlene (the actual text misprints it as Suzanne) returns from a visit with her psychic in an ebullient mood; an upcoming marriage has been predicted; this time she is sure it will come to pass. A more somber mood is introduced when Julia returns from the bank with the news that their loan cannot be extended ---- and to add to her indignation, she has been insulted by young punks on the way home. Sensing a possible solution in a news story about the give-away of a Rolls-Royce, Julia confides that the winner of the contest was a dog. Adding that more publicity and press had been generated because of the outcome, she convinces the others that they should run a contest and offer a room makeover as the prize --- something that will cost them very little in cash outlay. A newspaper friend of Suzanne's is persuaded to cover the drawing for the prize winner and do a feature story.
The big moment arrives; Charlene draws the winning entry and is greeted by a dirty disheveled winner, owner of a decrepit gas station on the outskirts of Atlanta. They are all dismayed as the survey the enormity of the challenge facing them in transforming the wreck of the gas station as promised in the contest. When Charlene learns that the winner, Eldon Ashcroft, has a mole on his face, she is certain that this is the repulsive suitor promised in her psychic's prediction. Squaring their shoulders, they decide to start in on the renovation project, resisting the impulse to torch the building out of respect for the fact that the newspaper reporters are hot on their heels to start shooting their restoration efforts. Despairing of ever being able to complete the project, their dejection is nothing compared to Charlene's conviction that she is destined to marry a never-washed derelict specimen.
The Sugarbakers are beginning to fear that they may have a permanent house guest on their hands when Ashcroft moves in while his premises are being fumigated. Anthony's help is enlisted to determine where Ashcroft's mole is located --- Charlene had jumped to the wrong conclusion when she learned it was located on his left cheek. Unable to come to any sort of agreement as to furnishings and style, Ashcroft remains adamant while everyone else loses patience. Threats to call the whole thing off cause him to counter with a promise to tell the press that they refuse to honor the contest commitment. A compromise is finally reached and Atlanta is introduced to a refurbished Eldon Ashcroft and his gas station.
Additional Comments:
If Suzanne knows someone at the paper, it is never mentioned in the episode as it airs in syndication.
As the second season debuts, the large white brick column in the back of the room across from Julia's desk has disappeared, as has most of the fabric and carpet samples, etc, that used to occupy that space and indicate that the ladies actually worked.
Jonathan Banks, who plays Eldon Ashcroft in this episode, later plays the part of Suzanne's mentally-handicapped brother, Jim Sugarbaker, in Women of the House.
Classic Scenes:
ELDON: Good night. Don't let the bed bugs bite.
MARY JO: Yes....... and may you also be so fortunate.
Charlene has been worried because her psychic told her that she would meet and marry a diamond-in-the-rough with the initials E.A. and a mole on his right cheek -- a description which the repulsive Eldon matches.
MARY JO: Charlene, where have you been?! You left hours ago.
CHARLENE: I've been with Tova (her psychic). What's wrong with Eldon?
JULIA: Is that a serious question?
MARY JO: Oh, Julia told him off again, and he went on a little bender (he is passed out on the sofa). Now we're just sitting around trying to figure out how to get out of this disaster without having to move away and have sex change operations!
CHARLENE: You're just never gonna believe what I found out. You know I've been beside myself thinking that I might be supposed to marry Eldon. So I decided to go see Tova one more time and recheck everything. You know what she told me?
MARY JO: We give...
CHARLENE: The mole on E.A.'s cheek is not . . . on his face. Ya get it?
SUZANNE: No.
CHARLENE: Think about it!
JULIA: I don't want to think about it.
CHARLENE: Well, Julia, we have to! I can't live another day thinking that Eldon and I...
I know you think this is stupid, but I take this stuff seriously. I gotta put this thing to rest.
MARY JO: And just exactly what would this involve?
CHARLENE: Well . . . one of us will have to peek . . . at his cheek . . . so to speak.
JULIA: One of US?
CHARLENE: C'mon you gotta help me. If I could just know there was no mole there I could sleep tonight.
MARY JO: But if I look in Eldon's pants, I can't.
JULIA: Charlene, I can't believe that Sugarbaker's is standing on the presibus of total oblivion, and all you can think about is whether some bum has a birthmark on his buttock!
CHARLENE: Fine. Fine. You won't help me -- that's fine. I will do it myself. It's nice to know who your friends are. Least you can do is help me roll him over.
JULIA: Oh, alright! If this will just be the end of it once and for all.
CHARLENE: Thank you, thank you thank you! Ok, I'll just undo his belt and his......whatever, y'know, and we'll just roll him over and I'll pull his pants out, and you can just look real quick. I mean, it's no big deal. It's just like giving someone a shot.
(Julia returns with oven mitts on......)
MARY JO: Oh, no. I've seen shots given before. It's nothing like this.
SUZANNE: Julia, what have you got those on for?
JULIA: You don't think I'm actually gonna touch those clothes, do ya? Alright..........I'll roll him over.
(Charlene and Julia struggle to roll over Eldon as he is passed out on the sofa -- Julia being forced to climb up over top of him.)
JULIA: I'm gonna roll him over, and then you give me some slack........I'll yank 'em down half way and you peek as fast as you can.
SUZANNE: Julia, I just wish you could see yourself.
CHARLENE: Oh.......wwwait! He's waking up!
ELDON: (half asleep and looking up at Julia with her mitts over him......) What are you doing?
JULIA: Don't be alarmed. We're not going to harm you.
ELDON: Are you gonna cook me?
CHARLENE: Everything's gonna be alright, Eldon, you just go back to sleep.
ELDON: Okaaayy........
JULIA: Let's get this thing over with.......
(Anthony walks in.........)
ANTHONY: Hey!.......what's going on? (flustered) I....I was on my way home from the airport and I thought I'd stop by and see if you needed anything,.........but, I can see you ladies have the situation under control, so I'm just gonna be going.
CHARLENE: Oh, Anthony! We're glad to see you!
ANTHONY: Why?
CHARLENE: Because you're a man, and we need one.
ANTHONY: Well, what's the matter with the one you got?
JULIA: Anthony, it would take far too long to explain, but basically we've ruined the business and taken up with this person since you've been gone. I know it looks bad.
ANTHONY: I'm gonna have to agree with you on that one.
CHARLENE: But you can make everything all better if you'd just do me this one tiny little favor. It'll just take a few seconds.......and you can wear Julia's gloves!
ANTHONY: I don't know why, but I just don't like the sound of that . . . .
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