Julia's nineteen-year-old son, Payne, is bringing his new girlfriend home from college for a visit, and when Suzanne comments that Julia is going to a lot of trouble in her preparations for their arrival, Julia claims that is was her idea that Payne bring this girl home and she wants everything to be perfect. When Payne does arrive, everyone greets him with hugs and kisses befitting their "baby." Payne then presents his girl -- Primrose "Primmie" Horton. She is tall, attractive... and forty-years-old! Julia thinks it is a joke and asks if Primmie is Payne's girlfriend's mother. When Primmie asks Payne to take the bags up to "their room," Julia becomes incensed.
Payne confronts his mother and asks if age is the reason for her rude treatment of Primmie. Julia concedes that it does bother her. Furthermore, it bothers her that Primmie is a professor at his college. Payne assures her that he is not in any of Primmie's classes, although he is learning a lot from her -- about life. When Payne offers that he continues to be guided by his late father's good advice about women, Julia is moved and agrees to back off -- just a bit. Suzanne suggests that Julia not be so hostile toward Primmie. But Julia finds that very difficult, especially when Primmie requests a bath with lavender salts and coffee with anisette. A dramatic and poetic account of how she and Payne met proves to be too much for Julia. She tells Primmie off and then apologizes to Payne for not controlling her temper and says it is because she loves him.
When Payne and Primmie are just about to return to the college, Primmie asks for a moment alone with Julia. With the women listening in on the intercom, Primmie gives Julia a scathing review of her style and Payne's upbringing. She then threatens to keep Payne away from seeing her. Everyone is shocked. Julia stays cool and informs Primmie that a phone call she made to the college revealed that her fall flings with students are a recurrent theme. Julia says her only concern is the inequity of feelings indicated. Payne unexpectedly enters and says that he is well aware of Primmie's flings. He goes on to say that Primmie is a campus legend, begging to be verified. He credits Julia with his discipline and independence, without which he feels he would not be able to hold the interest of a forty-year-old woman. He goes on the tell Primmie that no one comes between he and his family. Startled by impressed, Primmie goes to wait in the car. Julia tells Payne that she is very proud of him and asks how he knew Primmie's true age. Payne says that he looked at her driver's license -- like mother, like son.
This episode intruduces George Newbern as Julia's son, Payne McIlroy, who will make four appearances over the series.
Despite of what is in the summary, there is no indication that Julia's partners are listening to her conversation with Primmie on an intercom.
The upstairs study shown throughout this episode is never seen again in the series. Later episodes would suggest that the only rooms upstairs are bedrooms.
SUZANNE: If I were you Julia, I'd just be glad he's interested in women at all.
JULIA: Just what is that supposed to mean?
SUZANNE: Well, you know how overbearing you can be. I was always worried -- with him being an only child, and you being his mother, he could quite easily have grown up to be a homosexual.
JULIA: Suzanne, why don't you go into the storroom and see if you can't find something sharp to impale yourself on.
SUZANNE: I was just making an observation. Also, it doesn't help that Payne is a homosexual name.
JULIA: Payne happens to be the name of our maternal great-grandfather!
MARY JO: Suzanne, where do you get this stuff? There is no such thing as a homosexual name.
SUZANNE: How can you guys be in the decorating business and not notice these things? Payne is most certainly a homosexual name. So are Darryl, Wade, Tommy, Peter, and Dennis.
CHARLENE: Oh. What are the heterosexual names?
SUZANNE: Chester and Ralph.
JULIA: I can't stand it, I can't stand it, I can't stand it.
CHARLENE: Julia, you don't actually mind Payne having a girlfriend do you? After all, he is in college.
JULIA: Of course I don't mind. I just wanna have a look at her. I know he's nineteen years old, but as far as I'm concerned he's still a baby.
CHARLENE: No he's not.
JULIA: Not what?
CHARLENE: A baby. Look at Jerry Lee Lewis. He married his cousin at thirteen.
JULIA: You're right, Charlene. I don't know why, before taking a major life step, I sometimes forget to stop and ask myself, "Julia, wait a minute. Is this something Jerry Lee Lewis would do?"
PRIMMIE: ... I was wondering if you might have some lavender for my bath.
JULIA: No, but I have some Twenty-Mule Team Borax.
PRIMMIE: So, you don't have any lavender?
JULIA: Gee, I'm sorry. I ran out yesterday. I was going to get out of bed last night and go to the 7-11 to get some, but then I thought, no, why not just risk it?!
MARY JO: Anyway, Julia maybe this Primmie whatever her name is, isn't exactly what you had in mind, but... I mean maybe you should give her a chance.
JULIA: I just don't understand why all of you are acting as if this is nothing! I mean, Charlene, you have ranted and raved for weeks about how they brought Bobby Ewing back. But, let my son bring home "Grandma Moses", and you can care less!
SUZANNE: Oh, get serious, Julia. She's certainly not over forty.
MARY JO: How do you know that?
JULIA: I looked at her driver's license.
SUZANNE: She told the truth on her driver's license?
JULIA: Yes. Height. Weight. Everything.
SUZANNE: (gasps) She's not only old, she's stupid!
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