Episode Cast:

Suzanne Sugarbaker
Delta Burke

Julia Sugarbaker
Dixie Carter

Mary Jo Shively
Annie Potts

Charlene Frazier
Jean Smart

Monette Marlin
Bobbie Ferguson

Client #1
Dean Dittman

Client #2
Terry Wills


Directed by: Barnet Kellman
Written by: Linda Bloodworth-Thomason
Taped: January 10, 1987
Airdate: February 8, 1987

While Suzanne goes on and on about sitting next to an important gentlemen at a benefit the previous night, Charlene receives a telephone call from her high school friend Monette Marlin who has moved to town and bought the old Chadwick mansion. Which is another reason for her calling Charlene -- she wants Sugarbaker's to redecorate the entire structure! The women are as excited at the proposition of the new job as Charlene is about having heard from Monette. Monette was everything Charlene wanted to be...she was sexy and aloof. She claims Monette felt a bond with her because the other cheerleaders had money and they were poor; besides, Monette felt sorry for her because Charlene had a crooked cartwheel.

At the Chadwick mansion, Monette takes the women on a tour of the place though Charlene hasn't arrived yet. Charlene finally arrives and she and Monette make a fuss and sing each other praises. Monette says that Charlene has the best heart in the world, she just doesn't have the best taste in men. Monette takes Charlene on her own private tour leaving Julia, Mary Jo and Suzanne to discuss the possibilities of the project. When a man enters asking for Monica (Monette), they tell him she's busy upstairs, he says he will wait. They try to ignore him, until he asks Julia if he requested her would he be able to have her specifically. She says she doesn't know what he is talking about, but the answer is no. When he explains that he thought she worked for Monica, Mary Jo inquires if Monica is a you know what? The man says that is what he gathered from his last visit.

Back at Sugarbaker's, Charlene is recounting her memories of high school when Mary Jo breaks her mood by telling her what happened while she was touring with Monette. Julia goes on to say that they are NOT going to decorate a house of ill-repute. Charlene suggests that they not turn it down until they are absolutely sure about Monette's occupation and offers to ask her. Monette explains that she originally started looking for affection she missed as a child and found out she could make a lot of money and she is proud of what she has accomplished. Julia goes on how what Monette is doing degrades women, but she believes that getting in touch with Charlene after twelve years, is a sign that she is ready to make a change. With that, Charlene makes Monette promise she will think about changing her professionn and to always stay in touch.

-- Columbia Tri-Star Marketing

Additional Comments:

This episode introduces the well-remembered character of Charlene's high school girlfriend, Monette Marlin, who is now a madam.

Though the storyline implies that Monette is considering retiring from prostitution, she makes two other appearances over the course of the series in which she is still in the business.

We learn in this episode that Charlene's high school team was the Poplar Bluff Mules, and that their school mascot was a jackass.

Classic Scenes:

GENTLEMEN: If I was to ask for you specifically, would I get you?
JULIA: I have no idea what you're talking about, but somehow I feel absolutely safe in saying the answer is no.

JULIA: Charlene, sit down. We want to talk to you about Monette.
CHARLENE: Oh no. I don't like the sound of that. Everytime you say 'Charlene, sit down' it's bad news. Now just tell me standing up. What is it? What? What.......Monette's a man.......
MARY JO: No, but we have reason to believe she's practicing the world's oldest profession.
CHARLENE: Monette's a carpenter?
SUZANNE: Charlene, Monette's a madam.
CHARLENE: You mean like in prostitute?
JULIA: It looks that way.
CHARLENE: I can't believe y'all think such a thing!
MARY JO: Charlene, while you were upstairs with her, two different men tried to 'purchase' Julia.
SUZANNE: And that just shows the type of clientele she has right there.
JULIA: What is that supposed to mean?!
SUZANNE: It means her operation is probably over-the-hill. I mean, clients ususally want much younger stuff.
JULIA: Stuff?!!
SUZANNE: You know what I mean. Now I'm not trying to be unkind, Julia, but I don't think there's too many women cutting it in your age bracket.
JULIA: Well, that may be, Suzanne, but I didn't notice anybody knocking down the door to get a crack at you.
SUZANNE: I probably intimidated 'em! As my ex-husband, Dash Goff the writer, used to say, 'There are some mountains so majestic.....'
MARY JO: '....even brave men dare not approach.'
JULIA: Well, I guess nobody felt like climbing you
MARY JO: Can we stop? That is not the point.
JULIA: The point is, I know this is difficult for you, and I just want you to know that we're there for you. But in the meantime, no way am I decorating a nineteen room whorehouse for some two-bit floozy who just blew in from St. Louie.
MARY JO: Julia!
JULIA: No, I mean it! Not even for one-hundred thousand dollars. I will decorate a greenhouse, a hen house, and doghouse. I will even decorate an outhouse, but I will not decorate...a whorehouse.

SUZANNE: We all have heroes who disappoint us, it's just a fact of life. I used to be totally wild over Anita Bryant. I wanted to walk like her, talk like her......I even wanted to have her hair.
CHARLENE: You do have her hair.
SUZANNE: Thank you!
But then she got off on the homosexual thing, and it just kinda turned me off, y'know. I mean, she became obsessed with it and stopped showing up at pageants. And for what? I mean, it wasn't like she was some homely girl who had to worry about all the homosexuals stealing all the good-looking men, or anything like that. And y'know, the last time I saw her, even her hair looked kinda deflated.
CHARLENE: What's your point?
SUZANNE: I forgot. What's the question?

SUZANNE: (to Monette) Well, if you ask me, what you're doing is economically stupid.
MONETTE: I didn't ask. Anyway, I find that a little incredible since you don't know how much I make.
SUZANNE: You don't make half as much as me, and I can guarantee it.
MARY JO: Three ex-husbands.......
SUZANNE: The way I see it, marriage is much more profitable. To me it's like buying a new car. First of all, you people don't even have a contract. Then you only charge the guy according to how much he drives it. Now if he marries you, he has to pay for the entire vehicle whether he ever drives it again or not. And alimony ensures that he will make those payments, even if he wants to get a newer model. Believe me, I have lifetime security, and you're just flying through the air without a net.
MONETTE: (to Julia) This is your sister right?
JULIA: Yes. She diminishes us too, but her I can deal with.


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